Recently, I was given the opportunity to be a guest blogger on "The Rest of Sunday" where I wrote about growing up without a father and how this affected me growing up. You can find that post here.
Everyone viewing the Finals is asking the same question, "What the heck is wrong with Lebron?" Recently on Twitter, Adam Thomason (Pastor), Amisho Baraka (Rapper) and it was later tweeted that Colin Cowherd (sports radio personality) all made great points in saying that historically athletes with strong fathers succeed more often than those that don't have fathers in the home. So when you look at the careers of Brady, Manning, McNabb, Kobe, Jordan, Magic, Bird and others who had fathers and compare them to A Rod, Iverson, Lebron, and Vick, all athletes who were extremely talented, you'll find that the main uncommon denominator is a father in the household.
Now I realize that the athletes mentioned above are from a variety of backgrounds and aren’t just blacks. When I announced that I would be writing about this someone asked, “What are you talking about and why can’t Caucasian athletes be involved as well?” Although I realize that issues of single parent homes have an effect on every single ethnic group, it has affected the black community more than any and sometimes I think individuals are unaware of this. So the purpose of this post is to highlight this issue.
Notice the statistics below:
· In 2000, among White mothers about 27% of all births were out-of-wedlock, among Hispanic mothers about 43% and Black mothers about 70%.
· In 1990, almost 5 million children lived in neighborhoods in which single mothers were head of household in more than half of all families in those neighborhoods, 80% of those children were African Americans.
· African American children are 9 times more likely than White children are, to have an incarcerated parent.
These statistics are startling to some, but to me and other black males it’s simply reality. I grew up in a single parent home. My mom, grandmother and some aunts all had a part in raising me. So I longed for a male influence and later realized in college how unprepared I was for manhood.
Basketball was tough for me on the next level. Although I had the talent to be a solid collegiate athlete, I lacked confidence and composure. My coach pointed out the day that I quit “you just don’t seem comfortable in your own skin” and the truth is I wasn’t. I was very insecure and if I felt unappreciated for too long, I crumbled. I was looking for significance. I was a little boy in a grown mans body.
Ultimately, I left the team and sought counseling from a College counselor. I soon realized that the main problem was what my campus minister had been telling me all along. He would say, “Phillip you’re longing to hear your father say he’s proud of you. Well guess what, he is. Your heavenly Father is proud of you.” I had daddy issues.
When I’m reminded of the Gospel and the fact that I’m loved because of the works and sacrifices of Another, it amazes me. I find myself crying tears of joy because in the midst of my struggles with porn, bitterness, anger, envy, insecurity and so much more, the Maker of this world is saying, “This is my beloved Son with whom I’m well pleased” (Matthew 3:17).
Some may deny that this has anything to do with why Lebron, Iverson, Vick, A Rod, and others have yet to live up to their full potential. But most, especially those who have grown up without a father, will say that we’ve hit the nail on the head, if they’re honest with themselves. Fathers, your presence matters more than you think. But for those of you that don't have a earthly father, turn to the Heaven Father. He'll love you better than any earthly father can. Forgive the father that wasn't there and turn to Jesus.
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